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Navigating Toddler Tantrums

Navigating Toddler Tantrums

My toddler throws major tantrums when he is mad. He bumps his head against the wall which scares me. I'm afraid he will hurt himself and so I give in.  

It is very upsetting to see your child hurt himself while throwing a tantrum (or having a meltdown). In this situation, most parents feel the need to give in. Reactions like this make limit-setting even more difficult. From your son’s point of view, his behavior works, which makes it less likely he will give it up.

First, it is important to note that pediatricians assert that a 2-year-old cannot bump their heads with enough force to cause them any harm, unless they are bumping against sharp surfaces like the edge of the table. So, if you feel assured that your child is not going to hurt themselves, you can ignore the behavior.  For some children, once they discover that a behavior does not get the reaction they were seeking (especially a behavior that hurts), they stop. Other children—based on their temperament and intensity level—may hit their heads harder and longer than you are comfortable with. In this case, you might want to find a safe way for them to continue the behavior (for example, putting a pillow under their head or move them to a carpeted area). Then ignore it.

It’s also critical to acknowledge your child’s feelings. Helping them recognize when they are angry is the first step in teaching them how to manage these feelings. For example, if they throw a tantrum because you are setting a limit about TV watching, you might say: I know you are really mad that you can’t watch another video. It’s okay to feel mad. But that’s the rule. When you are done being mad, we can draw together. Giving them an image of a fun activity they can do next can help focus and calm them down.

Go about your business while staying close to keep an eye on them. (You might leave their blankie or another favorite object next to them during the tantrums so it is there if/when they need it to soothe themselves.) When your child calms down, give them lots of credit for doing such a good job pulling themselves together. Soothing oneself is indeed a very important life skill you help them learn by giving them the chance to calm down on their own. After you consistently respond in this way a few times, they will likely give up the head bumping simply because it isn’t getting them what they want.

Later, during a calm moment in your day, talk with your child and let them know that everyone gets angry and that feeling angry is okay. Then brainstorm with them different ways they can express their anger. This helps them learn other, more acceptable ways of coping. For example, they can stomp their feet, draw an angry picture, or tear up newspaper. The mistake parents often make is being afraid of their children’s anger, which can lead to squelching those feelings. Instead, look at these “moments” as opportunities to help your child learn how to manage difficult feelings in healthy ways.

Jocelyn Debick director, First Steps Early Intervention Services, accessAbilities, Inc

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Benefits of Baby Wearing

The Benefits of Baby Wearing

As it gets closer to my due date, I am getting more and more curious about the benefits of babywearing.   Is it just a trend or are there benefits?

When a baby is "worn" or carried in a sling or other form of wrap it is called "babywearing." It has been practiced for centuries around the world. In recent decades it is becoming more and more popular in the United States. It is one of the principles of attachment parenting.

Medical professionals agree that babies thrive through touch and contact. “Wearing” your baby is a way to meet this need. Infants who are carried are calmer because all of their primal/survival needs are met. The caregiver can be seen, heard, smelled, and touched. In turn, parental rhythms (walking, heartbeat, etc.) have balancing and soothing effects on the infant. Studies have shown that babies who are carried, are generally happier and healthier.

Parents who “wear” their babies generally feel more confident and in tune with their baby's movements, gestures, and facial expressions. Babywearing leads to a closer maternal bond and easier breastfeeding, thus lowering postpartum depression rates. When a parent is able to read their baby's cues, they become more confident. This form of cuddling up close is a great way for your baby to get to know you.

There are numerous types of baby wraps/slings on the market. Parents who use them feel that once they get over the initial learning curve, they offer an exceptional level of comfort. Parents who have back or neck problems prefer this method of carrying baby. The fabric is selected to support your child’s weight and mold around your body. They can be adjusted to your body shape. The child’s weight is pulled into your body, helping to keep your back straight.

Wrapping offers almost an unlimited number of carrying positions. Babies can be held cozily in a front carry, upright or slightly reclined from birth. Once baby is able to sit up unaided, your baby sling can be used as a hip carrier. At around 9 months to a year, back carriers bring a whole new sense of freedom and comfort. Wraps/Slings are safe, comfortable and versatile. They can be used as a nursing cover to breastfeed discreetly, a play mat, a blanket, and a changing mat.

Keep safety in mind if you do try a baby wrap/sling and learn to use it properly. You want to make sure your baby can breathe. Their chin should never be curled against your chest and their head and face should never be covered with fabric. Make sure you do not engage in activities such as jogging, running, or jumping. Soft baby carriers do no provide protection in a car. Always use a car seat when riding in a vehicle. Carriers need to be appropriate for baby’s age and weight. Breast feeding and babywearing  support groups are often great sources of support for parents on this topic.

Jocelyn Debick director, First Steps Early Intervention Services, accessAbilities, Inc

Jocelyn Debick, Director accessAbilities First Step Early Intervention

  • BA in Early Childhood and Elementary Education, Carlow University, Pittsburgh, PA
  • Infant Mental Health Graduate Certificate, Chatham University, Pittsburgh, PA

Experience includes  25 years in Early Intervention, Early Childhood Education; advocate high quality early care and education services

accessAbilities First Steps Early Intervention provides a variety of home-based services for children ages birth to age 3. These services are designed to foster learning and growth during the most important developmental stages as well as provide support for the family as a whole.

If you have a question you'd like to ask our experts, please submit it using this form.

 

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Gardening with your toddler

Cultivating a love of gardening with your toddler

Even before the age of two, a toddler can be inspired by… interact with… and make discoveries in the garden.  With a little planning, the two of you can have a fun and productive experience working together.

Prepare for activity

The best time to garden with a toddler is early in the morning or after an afternoon nap. It is cooler at these times, the sun is not as bright, and a well-rested toddler tends to be in a much better mood.  Make sure your child is ready to “work” in the garden. Toddlers will need sunscreen, even when the sun is not at its brightest and when it is cool. Dress them in play clothes and wash their hands after digging in the dirt. A little dirt never hurt anyone.

Gather the basics

Gather all of your supplies before you start: tools, containers, soil, water, seeds and/or plants. Young children work well with container gardens. An old sandbox or shallow container work great. Seedlings can be started in them as long as they are 2 to 3 inches deep and have drainage holes. Choose plants with large seeds that germinate rapidly. Nasturtiums and miniature sunflowers are good choices. Cherry tomatoes are a tasty treat. Marigolds are particularly hearty. Use non-toxic plants and fertilizers.

Demonstration

Children love to mimic what they see grown-ups doing. Hand garden tools are usually small. Make sure the tools are safe to handle and show them how to use the tools properly.   Demonstrate how to sow seeds or plant starts and then let her do it. Be there to help when needed, but otherwise try not to intervene. Toddlers can water with a small watering can or spray bottle.   Visit your garden together often. Take time to stop and look at the plants. Make it a learning experience; watch a worm wiggle, count flowers or tomatoes. If you grow edible items, enjoy the fresh tastes with your child.

Relax and enjoy this time together. Your enthusiasm will motivate her. If a blossom gets picked here or there or garden is not perfect, don’t worry.

Visit/Observe/Explore

Developing a love of gardening does not happen over one summer.  When your child takes part each year, the better your gardening experiences will become. As a young child, I visited my grandmother’s gardens and worked side-by-side with my own mother in her flower beds. Gardening and growing flowers is a tradition that I have been able to share with my own children. I hope that you will have a similar experience with yours.

Jocelyn Debick director, First Steps Early Intervention Services, accessAbilities, Inc

Jocelyn Debick, Director accessAbilities First Step Early Intervention

  • BA in Early Childhood and Elementary Education, Carlow University, Pittsburgh, PA
  • Infant Mental Health Graduate Certificate, Chatham University, Pittsburgh, PA

Experience includes  25 years in Early Intervention, Early Childhood Education; advocate high quality early care and education services

accessAbilities First Steps Early Intervention provides a variety of home-based services for children ages birth to age 3. These services are designed to foster learning and growth during the most important developmental stages as well as provide support for the family as a whole.

If you have a question you'd like to ask our experts, please submit it using this form.

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Entertaining your toddler on a budget

Entertaining your toddler on a budget

There are many ways to entertain your toddler for very little to no cost.  Here are five cost effective and fun toddler activities:

Baker’s Man

Your toddler may not be old enough to use a mixer or flour sifter, but could probably take charge of the cookie sprinkles. Bake up a batch of cookies. You can even buy pre-made dough. Ice with either homemade icing or premade icing and let him go to work with the sprinkles. Some may be heavily sprinkled and some may have very little sprinkles but he will be very proud of his work.

Fancy Wrappings

Toddlers love to open presents. Sometimes they enjoy opening things more than they do the things inside. Wrap up something small that you already own.  You can use recycled bows and ribbons. Sunday comics work great for paper. Present it to her and watch her have fun.

Play dough

Let your toddler play with a hunk of pizza dough. It is not too sticky and not too runny. It is the perfect consistency for little fingers. You can get some from your local grocery store, pizza parlor, or make your own. You can also incorporate a rolling pin into the play. If you are feeling motivated, you can bake a pizza with the rest of the dough while your child plays with his portion. Otherwise, simply freeze or refrigerate the rest for future playtime.

Dog days

You could take your baby to the zoo, but don't be surprised if he falls fast asleep – or favors the water fountain over the orangutans. Instead, try a park where he can see dogs playing. It's a lot less overwhelming and every bit as exciting, plus it doesn't cost a penny. Just be sure to practice good doggy and child safety habits. You might want to carry your baby in your arms or a baby carrier to make sure he's safe when watching and petting the pups (with permission, of course).

Flashlight games

Turn off the lights, close the blinds, grab a flashlight, and lie back on the floor for a rockin' light show with your little one. Dance the light beam along the ceiling and walls as your baby stares in delight. An older baby might like to try holding the flashlight herself (though you shouldn't be surprised if all she does is gum it). Just don't let her shine it directly in her eyes – or, for that matter, in yours.

Dining out

For a change of pace, set up your baby's highchair in the backyard or out on the front stoop. He'll feel like he's won the lottery! A bit short in the yard department? No worries – bring a booster chair to the park and set it right on the grass. Throw in some bubbles and you've got a perfect recipe for a fun-filled morning.

Camp in

Wait for a dark and dreary day. If your child has a case of the "nothing-to-do" doldrums, all the better! Now suggest that you go camping – in your family room. Make a "tent" with sheets and blankets draped over chairs. If you have sleeping bags, dig them out – or just create some bedrolls with blankets and pillows. Tell stories and sing songs around an imaginary fire. And when the lights go out, make a beautiful galaxy appear on the ceiling of your tent by shining a flashlight through a colander.

Jocelyn Debick director, First Steps Early Intervention Services, accessAbilities, Inc

Jocelyn Debick, Director accessAbilities First Step Early Intervention

  • BA in Early Childhood and Elementary Education, Carlow University, Pittsburgh, PA
  • Infant Mental Health Graduate Certificate, Chatham University, Pittsburgh, PA

Experience includes  25 years in Early Intervention, Early Childhood Education; advocate high quality early care and education services

accessAbilities First Steps Early Intervention provides a variety of home-based services for children ages birth to age 3. These services are designed to foster learning and growth during the most important developmental stages as well as provide support for the family as a whole.

If you have a question you'd like to ask our experts, please submit it using this form.

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My Toddler’s Favorite Word is NO!

Tips for decreasing the number of times your child says the word NO.

Toddler's says "no" because they are learning to assert themselves.  This phase often comes on suddenly. You're not alone if you're perplexed over your toddler's new-found defiance. Good news is that it can disappear as quickly as it appeared. In the meantime, try these coping strategies.

Give them a choice

Offering your toddler  limited choices when you can is one way to avoid a showdown. For instance, when it doesn't matter what she wears, you could ask, "Do you want to wear your purple leggings or your red leggings today?" Or, ask him "Would you like juice or milk?"  To overcome your toddler's refusal to help with tidying up, you could say "Do you want to put away your blocks or your crayons?"

Two choices are enough at this stage. You can use this technique for everything from getting dressed to solving play-date disputes. For example, "Do you want to play nicely with Jack, or do you want to play by yourself?"

Counting

Counting works sometimes, too. You could say, "I'm going to count to 10 and then you choose, or I'll choose for you." Your toddler will probably become decisive once you start the countdown. But save this technique for last resorts, because it loses its power if you use it too often.

Try saying, "Do you want to get out of the car now or play for two minutes and then get out?" Either way, they know they are getting out of the car.

Replace the word No when talking to your toddler

One of the reasons your toddler says "No" a lot is because her vocabulary is much more limited than yours. Your toddler may also be fond of "no" partly because she constantly hears the word directed at her. If that's the case, try to cut back on your own use of the word and find alternatives to "no" whenever possible.

One tactic is to replace "no" with phrases more specific to the situation in hand. For example, "It's not safe to play on the stairs," "We pet the cat," or "Use your indoor voice, please."

Be firm

Despite your best efforts to avoid or distract, there will be times when you have a showdown with your toddler. If she stops in the middle of the road and refuses to move, for example, you'll have to move her pretty quickly.

But keeping her safe isn't the only reason to be firm. While your toddler has a will of her own, things will quickly get out of hand if she's allowed to exert it too much. For instance, when she protests because it’s bedtime and she's already had her bath and stories, it’s fine to overrule her. You could say, "I'm sorry, but it is."  If she asks why you can even pull rank and tell her, "I'm your mommy, that's why." Don't feel bad about this. It's important for your toddler's sense of security that she sees you making the decisions and sticking to them.

Jocelyn Debick director, First Steps Early Intervention Services, accessAbilities, Inc

Jocelyn Debick, Director accessAbilities First Step Early Intervention

  • BA in Early Childhood and Elementary Education, Carlow University, Pittsburgh, PA
  • Infant Mental Health Graduate Certificate, Chatham University, Pittsburgh, PA
  • Experience includes  25 years in Early Intervention, Early Childhood Education; advocate high quality early care and education services

accessAbilities First Steps Early Intervention provides a variety of home-based services for children ages birth to age 3. These services are designed to foster learning and growth during the most important developmental stages as well as provide support for the family as a whole.

If you have a question you'd like to ask our experts, please submit it using this form.

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Leaving a Skilled Nursing Facility

My loved one is currently residing in a Skilled Nursing Facility. He has completed rehab, and wishes to return home. Is that possible?

It is possible to bring your loved one home after residing in a Skilled Nursing Facility.  The Nursing Home Transition program was developed to assist consumers who wish to return home after residing in a Nursing facility. Many people don’t realize that they may be able to receive long-term community supports at home.

Home care can be the perfect solution when caregivers and support are needed following a critical illness, hospital admission or rehabilitative stay in a facility. Individuals can receive personalized hands on care to maintain independence and dignity in their own home. These services are referred to as Home and Community Based Services, also known as waiver funded services. HCBS provides for supports and services beyond those covered by the standard Medicaid programs to foster independence and personal choice.

To determine eligibility for HCBS Services, individuals must apply through the independent enrollment broker. You can contact them by calling 877-550-4227, or going to www.paieb.com. Once benefits are determined and confirmed, your loved one can transition from the Nursing facility to their own home, with the appropriate supportive home care required for their individual needs.

Financing home care is a common problem for many families.  These services may be provided and paid for in multiple ways.  Available options include private insurance, personal assets, veteran’s benefits, or for those who qualify, benefits may be fully paid for through Medicare and Medicaid. In Pennsylvania, potential participants and families may learn more by searching for resources at www.dhs.pa.gov.  .

accessAbilities offers a host of home and community-based programs which provide assistance with all activities of daily living.  At accessAbilities, we provide customized care for each participant based on their needs, not just a cookie cutter plan.  We understand your need to insure the highest quality of service for your loved one. We are happy to assist you with navigating the process of applying for in home care benefits. Additionally, if you or another family member is the primary caregiver for a loved one, you can be paid for the supportive care you provide. Individuals, who receive benefits through the PA Department of Human Services, are able to choose who their caregiver will be. Family members can complete accessAbilities hiring process in order to become a trained, paid caregiver.  For more information, or to discuss becoming a paid caregiver, contact us at 724-832-8272 or visit our website at www.accessAbilities.org.

Nancy Austin, Director accessAbilities Home & Community Services

  • Chapman University, Orange, CA graduate
  • Experience includes 18 years in long-term care; advocate for Independence and Quality
    of Life for individuals with disabilities by maintaining a strong focus on the provision of care.

At accessAbilities, we offer a host of Home & Community Services that are individually modified for each situation.
To find out more: call us at 724-832-8272 or visit our website at accessabilities.org.
If you have a question you'd like to ask our experts, please submit it using this form

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